fucked on the inside

I keep wondering if I am normal. If all of these thoughts I have (not the good kind) are what everyone else is thinking. Does everyone feel like they are a piece of shit for a little while everyday? Please don't get me wrong, this is not some little pity party where I want everyone to worry about me or try to comfort me with false statements like "You are a great person Dani". I just don't get my life sometimes. I look around and see so many people stoked on life. I hear so many stories of people going places and doing things and starting their lives and bringing a child into this world; and I take a step back and wonder what the hell I did wrong. While so many of my friends were out having fun growing up, I was dealing with taking pills everyday that would supposedly make me "more happy". But I dealt with all of that and went to school and got a degree and got a job in sunny Cali-for-ni-a! Thats what my parents and every teacher told me was the right thing to do. And it was... right? I guess I will find out right before I am about to die; right before I have that conversation with God. So what's next? Keep doing what I am doing. Worry about the way I look and the way I feel everyday for the rest of my life. Or do I not give a shit and let my life go; start drinking as much as I can, eat shitty food, stop going to the gym, quit my job and move back home? If you know the answer, please respond promptly.