wars and rumors of wars

i just got done watching the new nike sb skate vid. it was short but legit. just had to share since shoes and skating have been on my mind lately. but yea... so as for my last post... i still and most likely will always feel many of the same emotions. i am who i am. i am not the best person and by no means wish anyone to ever have the life i have, but i often thank god that i have the people who i have in my life. those are the people that keep me here. from my loving gf to a friend who i have not spoken to in years to my brother who would give his life for me, i know that i have friends who truly care for me. and not just anyone can say that. there are many people on this earth would consider themselves to be without friends. to be without someone who would tell them to stop fucking up and stop letting the world bring them one step closer to the end. as much as i am blessed i feel lost and inadequate. but i have time on my side. i will be seeing my family soon. i will get to play golf with my brother and father which will make me so happy. i will be going to Ireland in less than a week with the girl of my dreams. i will get promoted. i will succeed. i will have the lord on my side. i will be more than i make myself out to be. i will surprise myself.

downward

lately i have succumb to the ways of the world. i am not in a good place. i have ended up in the hospital for stupid reasons and i fear that i am not getting any better. these stupid pills never seem to be working. i hurt the people who care for me the most. i fear i am not a good person. i fear that i am not a good friend. i fear that i will end up in either heaven or hell within the next year. i cannot control myself. i let worldly substances overtake me. i am weak. i never have been strong. i am always losing this battle in my head. my thoughts race a mile a minute. loud music and hard drums and crunching guitars and screaming vocals and deep base lines seem to be calming to me. i hate this world more than i should. help me god. make me strong again. like i was when i was five years old and nothing in this world could keep me from smiling.

i can't get enough

i can't get shoes out of my head lately!

KOSTON X NIKE

so stoked on this and 'debacle' which will be out soon!

Eric Koston has consistently been one of the most brilliant skaters in the game for quite a while, so when news first broke that he was leaving his longtime shoe sponsor, Lakai, all sorts of speculation began to brew on what company he would wind up with. After being photographed in a pair of Big Gulp Nike Dunk SB’s a few months back, rumors of a possible Nike SB sponsorship began to circulate around the web. With all that idle chatter buzzing around already, Koston was recently caught on video skating with plastic bags over his shoes. People immediately began to wonder why his kicks were being kept such a secret, and now today, the official announcement came down that Eric will indeed be joining the Nike SB team.

The addition of Koston instantly adds even more superstar firepower to the brand and it’s safe to say that it’s only a matter of time now before an Eric Koston signature model is in the works. Upon joining the team, Eric had this to say:

“Not only am I psyched to be a part of the great group of guys that makes up the Nike SB team, but I’m equally as excited to work with them creatively. I’m sure many people know that a lot of different Nike’s have been the inspiration for my shoe designs over the last 12 years, so I feel like a fucking kid in a candy store when it comes to this partnership between Nike and I.”

the beginning of my summer minus my depression

so marisa and i went to signal hill to do some teaching and go shooting. she got a new 50mm lens for her birthday (thanks to me) and she wanted to try it out. so here are some shots. also i added a couple more of aiden aka azzden and a self timed shot of the infamous couple! the shots of her were taken by me and the ones of me were taken by her. she is getting so good!

get out of my head!

i started praying daily... for the right things.
things with marisa and i are going great. we're growing.
i'm moving soon!
atmosphere finally made a good record.
i've been using the perfect push up.
i miss buying sbs. i guess toms will do for now.
5-4-3-2-1.
these meds have been making me crazy lately. fuck.
i need to get my oil changed and new breke pads.
ireland in less than a month.
i'm in love with marri's pizza.
efren is going to be a dad.
la la la la la like a good old fashion nightmare.

this has been stuck in head lately: