i don't care..

that anyone reads this.
it's for me and not you.
and lately you have fallen apart in front of me.
so now i feel like a child again.
like i just graduated and have no direction.
so i guess i need to think fast or be killed.
maybe suffer from boredom or this southern california air.
it's no more toxic than not reading the bible.
there are just too many damn malls down here and not enough trees.
it's not simple here.
everything and everyone comes with an agenda down here.
i can't define myself through irony.
i can't deny myself from self deprivation.
every emotion is gathered from a bar at 9AM.
it's my cost but also my loss.
i think i just need a new heart and mind.
or maybe just hope that i die today and be born again tomorrow.
whatever, this music will do for now.
for now at least.