Tuesday, June 23, 2009
downward
lately i have succumb to the ways of the world. i am not in a good place. i have ended up in the hospital for stupid reasons and i fear that i am not getting any better. these stupid pills never seem to be working. i hurt the people who care for me the most. i fear i am not a good person. i fear that i am not a good friend. i fear that i will end up in either heaven or hell within the next year. i cannot control myself. i let worldly substances overtake me. i am weak. i never have been strong. i am always losing this battle in my head. my thoughts race a mile a minute. loud music and hard drums and crunching guitars and screaming vocals and deep base lines seem to be calming to me. i hate this world more than i should. help me god. make me strong again. like i was when i was five years old and nothing in this world could keep me from smiling.
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3 comments:
Baby, I love you so much. You're an amazing person and show that to me everyday. You ARE strong, and we can get through this together. Stop thinking terrible things about yourself and believe what your closest friends tell you. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and wouldn't want it any other way.
P.s. Thank you for my flowers! Everyone at work is jealous :)
see you soon!!
I don't know what you went through, but i seriously feel like i know what youre talking about. I wrote an entry a few days ago very simliar to this. I really hope you are feeling better. Feeling shitty sucks to the maxx.
Danny Montenez,
I knew you when you were so eager you pulled everything foul down the left field line. But, damn, they were beautiful line drives. And then you would dig in again and wait a split second longer and hit one between the third baseman and shortstop and gallop to first base and make a confident turn toward the next objective.
Life is both difficult and rewarding. You have great parents and from all evidence a great girlfriend.
Look for the beauty and magnificence in every flower.
Your friend,
JG
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